Done

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I am done.

I am tired of repeating myself over and over...and over again. I am tired of taking 30 minutes to rub a 20-month old's back so that he can fall asleep, when he should be able to do that on his own at this point. I'm sick of waking up at 5am because said 20-month old is in the habit of waking up and drinking milk at that ungodly hour.

I wish I could say that this is the first time that I've had this conversation, but it's not. The same thing happened with my first child. Why, you ask? Because I wasn't tough enough to let them cry it out, you wonder?

No. Because my husband is not.

Now, don't get me wrong. Nine times out of ten, my husband is a FANTASTIC father. Truly terrific. He engages with the kids, plans out trips on the weekends, administers medication and tries to play "school" with them on a regular basis.

But when it comes to getting our kids to sleep, he sucks.

This is not a blog intended to husband-bash, but in the spirit of the BadAssMama Chronicles, I just have to let it out. I don't think that I'm alone on this one, so let me continue.

Angel was born at 32 weeks (that's 8 weeks early, for anyone who's counting). He was tiny, and on top of that had a wicked case of acid reflux. As a result, we were so overly-concerned with his calorie intake and keeping down said calories that we would feed him at the slightest whimper, day or night. As a result, he broke into a vicious cycle of waking every 90 minutes during the night....for the first 10 months of his life.

Brutal.

Eventually, out of sheer exhaustion rather than spousal agreement, we let him cry it out. Honestly, I think we just fell asleep one night and were too zonked to get up and feed/soothe him. Before we knew it, it was 7am and he was still sleeping.

Fast forward to baby #2. Victor was born full-term at a ripe 8 pounds and 4 ounces. He hit the 20 pound mark before he was 8 months old. Clearly failure to thrive was NOT an issue with this kid. But, the pattern persisted. It took us nearly 2 years - actually, right before VIctor was born - to get Angel to consistently sleep through the night. As a result, we were hyper-sensitive about waking him and ruining all of our hard work. So....once again, any time kid #2 made a peep, we would rush to snatch him up before he woke kid #1.

Fast forward, Victor is now 20 months old, needs to have his back rubbed for up to 30 minutes at night to fall asleep and wakes every morning no later than 5 am.

I'm done.

If my husband wants to rub, pat and cajole the kids to sleep for hours on end each night and then entertain them before 5am, more power to him.

I'm going to Walmart to buy a big-ass pair of ear plugs. Then I'm going to bed.

Until 7am.
Poppy said...

I remember those days all too well. I remember the "done" feeling as Hannah woke up every 90-minutes for 8 months. So very, very done. But fast-forward 13 years (almost in hyperspeed). I would give anything to go back to rubbing their back to sleep. Anything in the world. Hit the pause button. Savor it. Will be over so very quickly.

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