Tell me lies...

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We've had a few milestones at BadAssMama Central this week. My big boy started dressing himself each morning ("Because Spy Kids know how to get dressed, mommy..."). And the baby boy told his first lie. It went a little something like this:

Mommy: Victor! Why did you spill your grapes all over the table?

Victor: I didn't do it.

Mommy: Oh really? Well, how did they get there?

Victor: Swiper did it.

Mommy: Of COURSE he did...

Perhaps I should have made this into a teaching moment, explaining to my boys that we should always tell the truth. That the truth will set them free. Or that mommy can tell when you're lying because she has magical powers...

But, let's face it. Honesty is not always the best policy. I'll be the first to admit that I lie to my kids on a daily basis. Sometimes to smooth over the issues that are not quite age-appropriate ("Babies come from the baby department at the hospital store, honey"). Sometimes to get out the door on time ("I'm sorry, the TV's broken. Let's see if daddy can fix it when mommy gets home from work"). And sometimes just because I'm too tired to fight ("Chuck E. Cheese doesn't do birthday parties anymore. How about the Children's Museum?"). Mother of the year? Not by a long shot. But I have managed to avoid being trapped in a loud, germ-infested pizza play land for the past 4 years.

While I don't want my kids to lie to me,there are select instances when it is OK to lie to a mother. Hell, there are lies that many moms tell themselves on a daily basis just to make it through! Here are a few:

- You look GREAT in those yoga pants. They are so flattering...and slimming!

- Did you get a makeover? Those dark accents around your eyes really make them pop...

- Are you losing weight?

- I'm sure no one else noticed when you started snoring in the middle of the conference call

- You never get more than 4 hours of sleep, yet you always look SO fresh! What's your secret?

- I don't smell anything...

Yes, honesty is the best policy. But a well-timed lie can save you from mommy rage.
Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

How true.

I remember one moment so clearly. My son was about 9 or 10 and I was trying to find SOMETHING to wear to a bridal shower. Ugh. Nothing fit and I dove way into the back of my closet to try on a flowery number I hadn't worn in a while. It was... okaaaayyy.... But I spun around in front of my son to try and get a more positive outlook because this dress was just about my last shot. (stop eating lemon bars at 1 am!!) His response?

"No. I don't like it. You don't look very good in that. You just aren't a "dress" kind of person, I guess."

Nice. Gotta focus on his lying skills a little more, eh?

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