Boys are from Mars

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I think that my children may be aliens.

Or robots. Or transplants from another dimension where logic is a crime punishable by death, and all instructions must be repeated three times at VERY high volumes before they are responded to...and then ignored.

Either that, or they're just completely and utterly insane.

I really don't understand them. Their preferred mode of transportation is running at top speed, head-first, with little regard to what dangers might lie ahead. They scream and make poop jokes at the drop of a hat. They communicate in what must be a deranged form of near-twin language, because half the time I have no idea what they're saying yet they seem completely in sync with each other at all times.

I have tried to understand their motivations. How they can repeat the same action over and over and over again, get into trouble each time, yet STILL continue to pursue the same path. Why they can get in trouble at school at 2:37 and have absolutely NO MEMORY of the incident by 2:45. How I can repeat my self over and over and over, yet they still cannot seem to stop what they are doing and follow a simple direction.

Maybe it's me.

Maybe I'M the one that's from another planet. Maybe what I have understood to be logic and sound reasoning for near forty years is actually utter lunacy, and my kids are simply putting up with me and my feeble-mindedness. Perhaps I'm not communicating clearly, or what I thought was plain English is some undecipherable code - like pig latin, but far more annoying.

It might be me. It's more likely them. In either case, the mommy-to-three-and-five-year-old-boy communication line is clearly broken. I am willing to hire an interpreter. A crazy-baby whisperer. The Long Island Medium. Anyone who can help me figure out how to get through to my tiny lunatics before they steal what little is left of my patience...and my mind. 
Jennifer-Crystal Johnson said...

Where's the "like" button? Love it! I only have one boy, so I can only imagine the insanity you face each day. Thanks for sharing!

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