The BadAssMama's Take on "Having it All"

1 comment
Personally, I'm getting pretty sick of the whole "Can women have it all" debate. So, I've decided to add my two cents (translation - give the REAL answer so that we can move on to something much more important like why Rocky Road ice cream should be considered a controlled substance, or a fool-proof method to get your kids to behave like perfect little angels in three easy steps)

Here's the truth - having it all is a myth. Like Big Foot, an empty inbox or keeping off the "last" five pounds, the pursuit of having it all is a pipe dream. First off, who defines what "having it all" means? As your life and priorities change, can you still claim to have it all if you've decided that you want something else or something more? If everyone's definition of having it all varies, who's to say if we've actually attained the holy grail of having-it-all-edness?

Like fat free cheese and pants with front pleats, I believe that the myth of having it all was created by evil male scientists hell-bent on pissing off all the hard working women of the universe.

On a serious note, I do believe that the United States has a painfully long way to go in terms of providing safety nets for parents of both genders to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness while paying our mortgages or pursuing an ambitious career if that is our choice. Mandatory paid parental leave should be a given. The fact that we are the only "developed" nation without it is more than a joke. It's a damned shame. An embarrassment. Absolutely ridiculous.

The debate over whether women should keep their foot on the gas throughout their careers or take a detour every now and again to raise a family is the definition of a first-world problem. To be in the position to hold a C-suite executive role or top level government post is rarified air for anyone - man or woman. Anyone having this discussion clearly does not have to worry about where the next rent check is coming from or how they are going to feed their children. And I feel comfortable saying this because I am in the fortunate position at this time to have such problems. I am a relatively high-powered executive in a well-paying role who has the luxury of worrying about whether I should be pushing for a bigger job or pushing for a bigger life. At the end of the day, my situation allows me the CHOICE. Far too many women - and men - in this country, struggling to feed their families do NOT have that choice.

Let's talk about that. Let's talk about something that really matters.

The mommy wars are bullshit.

It's time to move on...


CCinCali said...

Preach! That "having it all" is a facade and a bunch of bullcrap - I'm glad to know you've stepped away from the Kool-Aid. The pressure to be perfect was designed to keep expectations high and make women feel "less than", in my humble opinion. Having choices is good. We make them everyday; to do or not to do. I chose to not crush the glass ceiling, focus on family and make a comfortable living without taking any considerable time off despite the FMLA. I might have made a different choice if it was 12 weeks of paid leave. We have to make a choice to demand better . . . Our kids deserve it!

Post a Comment