Gone Fishin' - See You in July!

I'll be on the road for the next 2 weeks, on a combination of business travel and family road trips until summer camp starts. To avoid losing what little is left if my mind, The BadAssMama Chronicles will be on hiatus until July 1.

See you in a few weeks...

Confessions of a BadAssMama - The Vacation Edition

I just got back from my first no-kids vacation in 7 years. And I did not miss my kids.

Call the police. I'll be here when you get back....

A few months back, my sister asked me to join her in Miami while she was in town for training. My first reaction was there's no way that I can leave my job and my kids. I just have too much going on. And then I looked in the mirror and realized that I looked like damnit-to-hell. I had been running on empty for months - juggling the job, the kids, The Hubs, networking, cooking, cleaning, jogging, blogging.

So I said yes. We planned a 3 day weekend. While I felt guilty being away from the boys over a weekend (I try to only travel during the week and keep the weekends sacred for family time), I figured it was one weekend out of 52. A few weeks before the trip, my sister called back and asked if I would mind staying a few more days because she really needed a break. Again, I hesitated (5 days away? Impossible!). But soon I realized that my sister never asks for ANYTHING, so if she said she needed a break she must REALLY need one. So, I made arrangements with The Hubs, took the time off of work and headed down to Miami for some relaxation for five whole days.

Guess what? The world did not end. The kids went to school, ate bathed and slept on schedule. They had museum adventures and a pajama day over the weekend and didn't skip a beat during our daily Face Time check-ins. My husband is an incredible partner and never gave me a moment of grief for taking time to connect with my sister and take some time for myself.

As the sun-drenched days went by, I felt my shoulders drop and my brow unfurrow. I sank into the curve of a comfy beach chair and enjoyed random fashion magazines along with my daily newspaper. I took showers that lasted longer than 3 minutes. Slept, uninterrupted, each night. Ate at restaurants without a kids menu. And while it was great to re-connect with my sister, it was truly amazing to re-connect with myself.

Maybe I'm getting comfortable with this whole mother thing. Maybe I was just too exhausted to think. Or maybe, with age, I'm learning to focus on what I need as much as what everyone else needs from me. One thing's for sure - I came back from that little slice of heaven rested and ready to face the tantrum filled mayhem of school mornings and crazed commutes, followed by back-to-back-to-back meetings with a bit more spring in my step (and a lot less screaming at my kids).

I love my kids, but I did not miss them. I left confident that they would be well cared for in my absence, and resting in the knowledge that they know they are loved - whether I am with them or not. This trip has taught me that a well-rested mom is a happy mom, and a happy mom is a good mom. While I won't be able to jet off to Miami every time I feel my shoulders creeping up to my ears, I have learned that taking time to breath and re-center myself is a MUST. Even if it's only 10 minutes at the end of the day to change my clothes before I jump into the second shift, it's time to put me back on the priority list.

I dare you to do the same...

Workout Wednesday with Jennifer Turner: 6/5/13

It's time to get cracking with your workouts (and don't forget to eat healthy!) if you want to be ready for the beach by the time the 4th of July comes around! Do a MAD COOL workout every day to get ready.






For more Mad Cool Fitness, check out Jennifer's latest DVD. 

How to be a Good Mom

In the 6 years or so since I became a mom, I've received numerous tips and tricks on how to be a good one. Offered freely from friends, family and complete strangers from the moment I began to show, I've assembled the collective wisdom of the masses for your enjoyment and personal edification below
As you can see, being the perfect mom is simple...

• Breast is best. All good moms breastfeed their babies for at least a year
• Why would you bother with breastfeeding when they make perfectly good formula? 
• Obviously you're going to stay home after the baby is born. Why would you want someone else to raise your child?
• Going back to work sets a great example for your kids! It shows them that a happy mom has a well rounded life
• Nannies are better than daycare. You get more individualized attention
• Never get a nanny! Your baby will think that she's the mother instead of you!
• Make sure to teach your children multiple languages before age 2 when they're most receptive to learning. Make sure to include sign language
• If you don't get your little boys to love school by second grade, you've lost them
• If you don't pick your kids up from school every day they'll think you don't love them
• If your kids are the last ones to be picked up from after care, they'll think you don't want to be with them
• Good moms dedicate every waking moment to their children
• Good moms take time for themselves so that they have energy to give to their children
• Your kids need you more when they are little
• Your kids need you more as they get older
• Stop smothering your kids! Give them some space!
• Your kids will only achieve if you raise them like a Tiger Mom
• Your kids need space to define themselves. Let them find their own way
• Good moms never drink
• Wine is a mother's best friend
• Expose your kids to as many different kinds of foods as possible so that they will have an adventurous pallet
• Why would you bother feeding your kids anything other than nuggets and pasta? 

Parenting is tough. It's even tougher when complete strangers, often under the cloak of Internet anonymity, take the opportunity to attack your parenting style when you choose to share your stories like I have here on The BadAssMama Chronicles. At the end of the day, it's your life and your rules. No one else has your particular family circumstances, personalities, logistics and needs. If you are doing the best you can on any given day, and your children know that they are loved - YOU ARE A GOOD MOM. 

Make your own rules. 

Makeup Monday with D'angelo Thompson: 6/3/13

Elegant Beauty By D'angelo Thompson I am very drawn to women 'who get IT', who have a sense of style, a sense of being. There's a cafe in the west village I frequent often with friends and or clients and one server stands out...it's the simple elegance of her stylish haircut, mascara and retro red lipstick. It probably takes 3 to 5 minutes to apply but it reads to me she knows what works and has a signature look. Just like the flappers in THE GREAT GATSBY, there was a signature look. My point is flaunt what you have, define your style...it speaks volumes without saying a word. -- D'angelo Thompson, make up, groomer, beauty educator, blogger  and author www.dangelothompson.com www.DangeloThompsonpresents.com dangelo@dangelothompson.com